GAY PARADE EVERYWHERE except Taiwan :(

LA pride
Originally uploaded by Alexsander7

QAF S5E6

偶然聽到Mel對Deb說 你得的是"BFM"
Boredly Fucking Mind
我想我也得了BFM 但我不像Deb一樣 可以不用工作僅靠電視購物和Hoggan Doze過活的中年婦女
我有很多事 剪接 期末考 搬家 托福 出國 還有堂姊即將帶來的家族暴動
但我一點力氣也沒有
時間很多拖到沒時間
想法很多懶到一事無成

多麼希望有顆隕石重重地擊在我的正上空
沒掛的話 我想我才會開始振作吧？！

starting new life

Is it beautiful!?
I thought it beautiful,
hoping my life would do that as well

For 阿泰

那天 我在門口抽煙
轉角那個說話的聲音好熟悉
應該是錯覺！？
窗外的雨猛落
那些進入身體的煙霧
緩緩迎向水滴
然後 你打從我面前經過

要一年了
自從你關上303號房的門
從未再踏入這區封塞已久的禁地
或許嫌惡 或許害怕
這一年 我才意識到 我從來沒懂過你
雖然你曾經說過那麼傷人的話
就像一把尖錐 把我拆解
然後用一年的時間 還在拼湊
只是 忘了編號的零件 再也組不回去原來的樣貌

對你的感覺還是有的吧
早已被封鎖在MSN之外
仍保留你的手機號碼
仍習慣性的讀著你的網誌
每天 每天 像是例行公事一般
是迷戀？ 我也說不清
就是一種放不下心的感覺
絕對不是愛 喜歡 也許還尚存一些吧
只是一種關心 一種想知道你好不好的念頭
隨著你的書寫
我欣慰 因為我以為我傷害了你 但你仍然可以感受到愛 且能夠去愛別人
我擔心 因為你的文字透露著埋怨與難過 夾雜一種不被了解的憤怒

雨聲把我拉回現實
你大概也沒預料到我會在門口 抽煙 和 我開始抽煙
我注意到你的神情
就像我表現出來的一樣
是種反射動作 我們都已訓練有素
像是一台sensor 已把對方的殘影建檔
一但接收到影像 馬上垂下眼簾 加快腳步

驚見 裝作不認識 走過 抑或繞道而行
驚見 裝作不認識 走過 抑或繞道而行
驚見 裝作不認識 走過 抑或繞道而行
驚見 裝作不認識 走過 抑或繞道而行
驚見 裝作不認識 走過 抑或繞道而行
驚見 裝作不認識 走過 抑或繞道而行
(驚見 裝作不認識 走過 抑或繞道而行)

我喜歡6
但我重複了7次 因為那是你喜歡的數字之一

我多想在下一次 遇見你時
把我的眼簾抬高 凝視 直到看著你走過
然後大聲喊出 你好不好！？

但 我知道我一定不敢
那句 永遠 不 要 出 現 在 我 面 前 依然迴盪在這寢室中

你一定還是覺得我很煩

A special Sat. night

last Sat. night, I went to TFAM with BABY(that's just her nickname, not my really "baby.") The junior came with me is a innecent girl whose major is theater. She seems to have less interest in love and man, and her point views of life are simple and childlike. I'm really confused how she could survive in the theater college!! No wonder another senior said that she may be agamonogenesis, which means asexual reproduction, and after laying an egg, she must cry out "wow~ that's an egg!!" Due to that, everyone can imagine how innocent she is.

It had been so long since the last time I went to the museum. However, there remains nothing special, and most exhibitions were getting boring. The purpose I went there was just the equirement from my calligraphy class teacher who said that there's a comtemporay calligraphy show held by some alive calligrapphy artists. Following my above opinion: nothing touched me, but there's a solo show on the 1st foor called 蘇新田循環空間繪畫回顧展. Mr. Su who comes from the same hometown with me is a really specific "scholar," and just a scholar. Although his knowlege is very wild which help him a lot develop his creation theory very deeply, all his seems not able to support his theory. Most of them look like similar and without any advenced shift, even developing several decades.

After tiredly went out from the meseum, I rode BABY to the nearby MRT station making sure that she could go home safely. Then, I transfered to another appointment. After lossing a length of time, I final found the 'flying house' where is a tiny dance studio hidden on the Rd. Jilin lane236. There was a special musicale, but I was extremely late so that i missed it. However, I met Shia, an odd but sensible girl. I got the information form her blog and both agreed to attend this special activity. Besides, although she knew that I must be late, she was still waiting there for me.

According to Shia's discription, the mmusicale was interactive. It began with some professional drumming performers, and there were other kinds of simple instruments that every audience could choose and take part in. But most of them were too shy to move on. Shia was the fist volunteer, and her attending warmed up the whole atmosphere. However, she couldn't satisfy with that her behavior just inspired purely folloewers. Therefore, she was very glad of my appearance, because I could always have fun with her, at least not as shy as those people.

Despite of few audience left after the musicale, there cames a little dance party. Without cigarette, alcohol and hit-hop, this party was totally differed with the general club party. Two performers drummed with the stereo playing the new jazz or some special tribal or other country music, such as Hindoo, Fromingo, and others could dance with freedom. In fect, the dance were no one except Shia and me, but I really enjoyed dancing with Shia and fully released myself. Following the music, Shia suggested us to keep close sensing and reactiing each others' movement without touch rather than to use those steps we learned or uesd to do. That was truely fun. It caused me remind one of the activity the performance method teacher used. We were fascinated with our dancing, the drummers and couple of the audience kept their eyes on us with joy. As Shia's words: we are natual high.

Suddenly, Shia told me that judging to my dancing, I must be good at making love, so I responded her that I'm too picky about my fuck body so that I'm still a vergin. After listening, she asked me if she consists with my conditions. Because I knew that she was not kidding, 'not enough!' was my answer. More surprisingly, she was so happy that I'm not limit my fucking right to all the male. She's really odd, isn't she??

We kept dancing until she had to take the last MRT.

再 見玉蘭花

前幾天 我又聞到玉蘭花的味道
每一次聞到那樣甜膩
都覺得生命中又將出現未知的變卦

小時候
後邊阿婆的前庭是我們那幾戶中唯一有種玉蘭花的人家
有時跟奶奶過去串門子時
阿婆總會用長竿子打落幾朵
而那些落地的芳華當天就會出現在大廳的供桌上
和繚繞的線香 對空鳴唱

初三的誠意樓中庭重滿了玉蘭花
高高的樹梢結滿了豐潤的芬芳
每次散步總會刻意繞過那兒
拾起那些殞落且尚留餘韻的軀殼
小心翼翼地放進折好的紙盒
在悄悄地放到那些別具意義的人的桌上

高中偶爾會在新大樓的走廊聞見同樣的味道
但前前後後無處見著玉蘭花
總會猜想 是哪牌洗髮精的香料
然後找遍斗六各家洗髮精架上
卻被坎妮的廉價薰瞎
碰了水後完全走了調樣

而今 我又突然聞見了玉蘭花
只是 這附近哪裡有玉蘭花？？